3 Reasons a Dog is Better than Having a Girlfriend
We've all been there. Stuck in a relationship where we wonder if it has run its course, sometimes even debating if we should have even gotten involved in the first place. Maybe we're feeling unappreciated, or our goals and values don't mesh as well as we originally thought with that of our partners. We start to wonder if the grass really is greener on the other side, or if the idea of it is just more alluring than what the reality of it would be.
Maybe it's time to take a break from all of it, to get back to who we are as men. Although the idea of sitting in an empty house all alone causes a pause. We've dropped all of our friends at her request because they weren't refined enough for her tastes, we started doing things and hanging out in places that maybe we weren't all that into, but we wanted to keep her happy. That meant losing touch with even more of our friends who preferred bowling and a six pack of beer over wine tasting and upscale dining. The last of our friends are dating just as we were, and because of our own unrefined ways, they're not allowed to hang out with us either.
Maybe the idea of breaking it off for awhile isn't such a great idea. Being together and miserable is better than being alone and miserable, isn't it? Then the idea strikes you. You don't have to be alone. Maybe you can adopt a dog. A man's dog, not one of those little yapping things that your soon to be ex-girlfriend seems to enjoy. Sure there are some things you'll have to do without, but then you also consider the benefits that make man's best friend better than having a girlfriend. You start a checklist and here's what you come up with.
Money Complaints are History
Yep, as a guy we all try to do nice things for those we're with. The problem is that the economy is not as great as it use to be. Add in student debt and less purchasing power than in the past, and you've likely found yourself having to choose between necessities and splurging on gifts. Not to mention movie theaters, nice dinners, and other date night activities that cost moola! Let's not forget the complaints about the job you're working, or how you must not love her like her girlfriend's boyfriend who works for his dad and makes enough bank to splurge on a exotic trip to the Bahamas.
Let's face it, woman may be objectified for their looks and youth, but us guys usually feel the same way about our success and income. It's rare to hear a guy call a girl out on a low wage job she's working, or any other factor that has to do with money and income as long as she's not following in the footsteps of Peggy Bundy, just like it's rare to hear women complain about a guys weight or age.
With a dog though, you never have to worry about those complaints. As long as you have food in their bowl they're happy, even if it's not filet mignon. Dates cost nothing either. A walk around the block, throwing a ball in the park, all free and Fido will be wagging his tail as if he's in heaven. He's not even expecting you to splurge on a ring at some time in the not too distant future. As long as you spend some quality time with him now and then he'll be your friend for life, which brings us to the second reason dogs are better than girlfriends...
Spending Time Together
As a guy, you've probably heard these complaints. They likely came right after the money complaints where you decided to get another job to make more money, and now find yourself exhausted with no energy for date night or any other extracurricular activities. You're even missing the weekly sporting events on tv because you can't keep your eyes open for more than five minutes. Not to mention that you now completely lack the energy to work on that side business you wanted to start in hopes of escaping your 9 to 5 that's now a 9 to 5 and a 6 to 2. There's only so much time to change uniforms for the next job or catch a few zzz's.
The extra money you were making now goes out to gifts or those filet mignon dinners that you can't enjoy because you're not there. But she's happy now, right? Nope. She's feeling neglected because you don't spend any time with her anymore. It's all work, work, work. Heck that's all you ever talk about now, and it's always complaints too. There's just no escaping the cycle. She wants you to do better in life, but that takes time and extra hours put in somewhere else, which brings with it the complaints of neglecting the relationship. You just can't win because no matter what choice you make you'll get yelled at for failing.
In comes Fido to the rescue. As was mentioned before, Fido really doesn't care about money as long as he has food in his bowl, which means it's up to you on whether or not to take that second job. If you do take it, Fido's not likely to complain as long as when you are home he can take a nap at your side. If you decide to work for some extra cash, Fido won't complain if you spend it on yourself, and he'll be overjoyed if he happens to get a new ball out of the deal. More importantly he won't complain if he doesn't, and he won't complain if he can't spend half the day with you. When you do decide to take some time off to spend with him, he'll appreciate it because he never expected anything more than food in his bowl when he was hungry in the first place. In essence, you're not stuck in that damned if you do and damned if you don't cycle. It's nice not being yelled at, and now you have time to work on that side business that'll cost thousands of dollars and won't return a cent. But hey, you don't have to worry about getting the cold shoulder or hearing "I told you so" when it fails as Fido doesn't play that way.
Jealousy is a Thing of the Past
Remember that time you got yelled at in Starbucks for saying hi to the cute female barista that welcomed you? Maybe you were accused of secretly fantasizing about said barista, right before your girlfriend requested to see the late night showing of Magic Mike so she could drool over Channing Tatum and the rest of his crew of six pack abs strippers. That's not to say that men don't get jealous too, but there does seem to be a double standard with women. A guy with females friends will most likely be accused by the girlfriend of wanting to jump ship and get in the pants of said female friend because "Guys and girls cannot be just friends". At least that's what us guys hear as the reasoning. When a female has male friends and the guy mentions it, all of a sudden it's because the guy has jealousy issues.
Most guys will notice the double standard of this argument. It's like saying we have no self control, and even if we don't at least give us credit for having some standards! Not to mention if the girlfriend's claim that men and women can't be friends is correct, doesn't that mean the guys they're hanging out with are just waiting for a chance to jump in their pants too? And that like guys, you're a willing accomplice to these attempts? Logically it means that either both partners have jealousy issues, we're both looking to get freaky with someone else the first chance we get, or we're supposed to be okay with your male friends, who by your claim of not being able to be friends with the opposite sex, want to reenact the 50 Shades of Grey with you.
Either way these double standards are frustrating to discuss because as guys we just can't win. If we have female friends we're going to cheat, and if we mention your male friends we have jealousy issues. If we think a girls hot on tv, we're secretly fantasizing about her, but we don't dare say anything about watching you drool over George Clooney, David Beckham, or any other hot looking male celebrity because...well, jealousy. So what's a guy to do?
Again, Fido comes to the rescue. You see, Fido doesn't care who we're friends with. Male or female, he's happy as long as someone scratches his back or gives him a treat every now and then. Heck, in a lot of cases Fido will even help you attract members of the opposite sex and he won't complain if he has to share his time with both of you together. He's just happy to have people around. He'll never worry about who you're friends with or claim you're cheating on him for petting another dog as long as he gets some attention too. For Fido, he's happy as long as you are, and anyone you bring into his life he'll consider a part of the family. Those double standards you had to deal with aren't even on the table with Fido.
You suddenly realize there are several more reasons you can come up with for reasons a dog is better than a girlfriend, but you notice your girlfriend just liked a post about 3 Reasons Cats are Better than Boyfriends. What the hell! Apparently she beat you to the punch yet again, which means you'll have more time to rationalize why Fido is better than a girlfriend while crying into that six pack of stale beer in the fridge.
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